When Your Parent Refuses to Move

In our last post, we talked about possible solutions to the problem of your mom or dad losing the ability to live alone. We discussed how in many cases, moving your parent to your own home or to a care facility is the best option for him or her.

But what happens when your parent refuses to move?

Removing your parent from their home, where they may have lived happily for years, can be sad, stressful, and painful. Dealing with their resistant can make it even harder. Here are some tips for smoothing out this transition, from our senior care experts at Park Crescent:

Discuss, don’t decide.

Unless your parent is completely incapable of making rational decisions, all plans about when and where to move must be made with their input. Ideally, all families should be having a serious conversation about long-term care before any drastic measures are necessary.

As soon as you see your loved one beginning to show signs of infirmity, you should sit down and discuss their future options. Do your research before the conversation, so you can have the pros and cons of each option ready for your parent’s review. Be honest about their options, and make sure they understand what the facts are, and what are just your opinions.

Even if your loved one is still able to live alone, beginning the planning early will help them get used to the idea slowly and in their own time.

Be sensitive.

Don’t just present your mom or dad with the news and then start packing up their home. Moving into a long-term care facility, or even into your child’s home, is a huge transition that must be handled with sensitivity. Gently broach the topic, and if you see your parent is extremely resistant, you might want to back off for a few days until you raise the topic again.

Many older people resent direction from their grown children. If that’s the case with your parent, you may want to get a more objective outsider involved. A trusted doctor, friend, or other relative may be able to convince your parent of the need to move.

Point out the benefits to loved ones.

Even if your mom or dad wants to stay in their familiar and comfortable environment, they may be willing to make the change to help you or their grandchildren. This can especially work if you live far from your parent and would like them to come live near you. Point out how much your own children will benefit from having Grandma or Grandpa at a care facility nearby—having grandparents nearby invariably enriches every child’s life.

For more advice on helping your parents make the move to a long-term care community, contact our admissions office.


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